Patience: A virtue in need!

By Murali Prakash   

As Stephen Covey aptly articulates; the world around you is made the way you respond/react. In today’s world, we can’t agree with this statement anymore. Personally, during my career (which extends to over three decades), I have evolved from being a rigid, much feared autocratic leader to a more democratic situational one – just by comprehending issues before commenting (even though, there are days when I still throw tantrums and lose my cool). One characteristic that I believe we all need to cultivate, especially when being with people is ‘patience’ – be it at home, work place, roads or anywhere else.

Remember the last time you had an argument at home. Think through reflections to analyse the said incident. Had you been a bit patient, could you not have avoided it?

When was the last time you were irritated while on the road? Perhaps the other person did something wrong but how did you react? The least would be you reacting within, thereby accumulating unwarranted stress for yourself. Had you responded differently, probably with a little patience, the situation would have been much more pleasant, not only for you but for the others around you too.

Conflict at work takes place mostly, due to communication mishaps of one kind or another. How we generally react is, without taking a moment to analyse and resolve, we jump the bandwagon and fling out opinions. More often than not, this creates further tension around the situation. However, had we taken the trouble to scan the incident or horizon before action, perhaps the outcome may have been very different.

How do we react at a simple supermarket counter or at the check-out counter of a retail store? We happily take our own time, shop for hours and most importantly, we don’t complain about the hours of walking we did around the store. However, those three minutes in the queue, irks… irritates. The situation is further compounded when there are people trying various tactics to jump the queue. Why?

Every year, we hear and read about hundreds of murders. Closely analysing the reasons behind these cruel incidents, one could zero in on the fact that the lack of patience being the root cause. For example, a neighbour said something to which a spontaneous and violent reaction to safeguard one’s personal interests or that of his/her family. Incidents of this nature are quite common in South East Asia. The outcome or the end result more often than not is the loss of a valuable life and/or being incarcerated for life. Either way you’ve lost it.

The ‘hot’ topic these days – global politics. Look at all the politicians globally. Most negative situations are created because of those strong verbal punches that are flung at each other without either pausing to think or wanting to think. If one chooses to trend the course of the latter, then he/she has chosen a path which otherwise could have been avoided. Either way, it is the country that would suffer and the issue perhaps would remain unresolved.

Along with patience, one develops yet another very important managerial skill – that is the ‘listening skill’. More often, a greater proportion of an issue can be resolved by simply listening. If one does not have patience, then listening skills are sure to take a downward turn. If one does not listen well, chances are that he/she will not be able to dispense the right solution to the problem or situation.

Religions too spell out the need for calmness through various means be it professing meditation, precepts, rules, prayers and many other forms. However, in reality, it seems though we are drifting further and further away from this reality. How do we inculcate this virtue into our day-to-day life?

Think for about 5 minutes before reacting or resorting to action. If the incident hurts or upsets you in some way, then take more time.

Don’t throw your weight around simply because you demand respect. Instead earn it through actions.

Practice a simple 15-minute meditation every day or whenever possible.

Smile at people – it helps relieve tension. It also helps in acquiring friends and eliminates negative thoughts too.

Lay down clear policies, procedures and practices in the work place. This helps to avoid conflicts due to ambiguities. Perhaps this applies to many situations discussed above.

Above all, be conscious not to jump in to conclusions!

Patience does not mean that we either falter/delay on executions or is it about accepting anything and everything that is sprung at you. It is about taking action based on rational thinking. It also means understanding the other person as much as you want to spell out your opinion or action. It further encapsulates the very essence of action and execution; being more rational and objective driven.

We can’t change the world, but a change in our daily course of actions/reactions within these parametres can change the lives of those around us - resulting in a ripple effect, long-term, positive impact to the hundreds and thousands of lives, living within the external environment. Let’s be more objective in our actions and be more prudent in using our words. The world will be a better place with this small virtue.

(The writer is a thought leader and is currently the Group Managing Director/Chief Executive Officer of Taprobane Holdings PLC and Lanka Century Investments PLC with over 35 years of corporate experience. He can be reached on [email protected]).