Sing me a song, Sunil

Just when I thought doomsday warnings arriving in my inbox had met their own prophetic demise, there was one from a Hindu guru and another one from the Judicious Services Commission.

I opened the epistle from Swami Yukeshwar and it made the Mayan doomsday look like a kindergarten story book. Kali Yuga or the Age of the Demon is the last of the four cycles and “it is already here,” I read with trepidation. It was a short exhortatory message.

Quickly, I referred to ancient Hindu scriptures and commentary tumbling on a passage that would unleash the carnage.

“In the destructive Kali Yuga, wealth, not virtuous conduct, will determine a man’s worth. Might will decide what is good and bad. Thieves will lead the country. Rulers, greedy and cruel, will degenerate into brigands and plunderers. Business will tantamount to practicing fraud. Cheats will take to trade and business and introduce dishonest practices. Poverty will be regarded as sufficient proof of guilt in courts. Ostentatious show will be the hallmark of character. A master of abusive vocabulary will be considered a scholar. Moral values will be observed solely for popularity, not by conviction.”

But then I remembered the famous words of Gypsies fame. It happens only in India; not in Lanka. I thanked the good Swami and said that he was welcome to come over to Sri Lanka and feel safe from the carnage.

Opened the message from the Judicious Services Commission. It was not a warning; more a plea for help. It simply read: Please save us from the injudicious. They sounded like a good people caught up in a bad trap while meting out services in a judicious manner. Who in their right mind would want to hurt them?

I know our Chief Executive and Chief Justice are at loggerheads but they are old friends known to stand by each other through thick and thin. They’ll probably make up soon and vouch for each other again. So I can’t quite fathom how these judicious people may have anything to do with it.

My equable thoughts were disrupted by a SMS from a friend in Australia. She wanted to know if there were riots in Colombo and if anarchy has indeed descended on us. For Pete’s sake and that of every Dinapala, Gunapala and Modapala, I hope the custodians of our island will rise above their quibbles and take us to our promised land pronto. Oh anarchy, thou art the last thing we want!

I fervently hope the Pres will prove Hindu damnations wrong. I still live in hope. Do you, my friend? The leading opponent has bus loads of it. He has his sights set on 2014 and despite the flak he is getting he has time and again shown that he is one of the stoutest protagonists of democracy even though it doesn’t really seem to begin at home.

Amidst news of falling objects from the sky, my wife Michelle thought the world was ending, after all, when a foreign object landed on the windscreen of her car. The men overseeing the green refuse to foot the bill insisting that they can’t be responsible for their balls even as they concede that they do play with them. Incidentally, it is the left-handers who drive their balls a touch too hard. Oh well, now we have to wear ball guards to protect ourselves from other people’s. What is this world coming to?

I think I’ll go listen to the Gypsies.

(Dinesh Watawana is a former foreign correspondent and military analyst. He is a brand consultant and heads The 7th Frontier, an integrated communications agency which masterminded the globally-acclaimed eco tourism hotspot KumbukRiver. Email him at [email protected].)