All Throats Day

Once again, it was the All Throats Day and as usual brothers in red, green and blue all went to town. It still rings a bell, walking to Cotta Park some 30 years ago to catch a glimpse of legendary showman Rohana Wijeweera drumming up the vocal chords of his dogged comrades. A million croaking throats later the drill is Xerox, save a few red brothers who glibly turned very blue.

A ministerial convoy came to a bone-jarring stop. Plopping his head out was erstwhile foot soldier Wimal Weerawansa. He asked why I was on foot and charmed me to join him. Getting down to brass tracks I reminded him the real show was where his former comrades were heading. He nodded but said his shirt would get him into trouble there. I waved him off and trudged on foot but not before promising to join him later for the famed biriyani and soda.

Watching the reds crying hoarse I couldn’t help but think why the die-hard communists should read Wimal Weerawansa’s best-seller ‘How to be Red While Turning Blue’. After all, he is only moving in the footsteps of his former idol. Still remember being among the first men on the Wijeweera hideout in Ulapane one fateful day in 1989. His colossal house, sui generis three-door refrigerator, throat-stirring liquor cabinet and remnants of his last meal are still vivid in my wandering mind.

Labour Day lives on. What started as a struggle for an eight-hour working day now suffers from multiple personality disorder according to a commentator. At the end of a long, brutal day, comrades of all colours have learned how to lift the spirits of their battered throats.

That evening, called Minister Pavithra Wanniarachchi visibly dimmed by the electricity tariff double bind. Lights off, the poor soul was already in bed. So I signed off with a ‘good night, sleep tight’. Ever wondered why anyone would want to sleep tight? In the times of William Shakespeare, mattresses were secured to bed frames by ropes. Pull the ropes tight and you would have a firm mattress to sleep in. So came ‘sleep tight’.

Fair bit of Thursday was lost on interviews in office. But at least one interview was worth the time. A 24-year-old woman said she had worked hard to educate herself. Now after a degree and an MBA, she wants to take things easy. “I’d only accept a desk job with few meetings and no travelling unless it’s in the office.” Meetings or travelling, perhaps both, but I didn’t dare ask. “I don’t work after hours or weekends. I’m well qualified but only need a job to keep myself occupied. So, I don’t expect much by way of remuneration; Rs. 65,000 would do,” she laid down her cards with consummate dogma.

Quite a stunner, alright but I would put a bug in your ear to think twice before you deride her. Many among us islanders make much more doing just that; nothing but kudos to this lass for being forthright. You, wipe that smirk off your face. If working hours are meant for working, then why on earth are you reading this? And wait for this one! How many business deals do you put through every time you tee-off on the green, at that ‘very busy’ hour? The frequent overseas trips jetting to important meetings but can’t take an hour off work when back in office, how dire wife sounds? Chill it man, she can’t use this against you. Remember, she ‘doesn’t have a minute’s rest doing all the chores, running around kids…’, yeah yeah, all that. She wouldn’t have time to read this, right? What conspiracy, this life!

Ok, time’s up. I have a plane to catch!



(Dinesh Watawana is a former foreign correspondent and military analyst. He is a brand consultant and heads The 7th Frontier, an integrated communications agency which masterminded the globally-acclaimed eco tourism hotspot KumbukRiver. Email him at [email protected].)