The lions that barged

By Sohan Ratnaike

Barge to Hell 2012, a metal festival of five days on a cruise ship, organised by Ultimate Music Cruises Inc, which in my opinion carries toe to toe with the best in the business such as Wacken Open Air, Bloodstock and Hellfest, was held last December and featured an absolutely mind-blowing line-up.

I say this because of the obvious reasons of having the line-up that they did with the novelty of extending it to a five-day party of sheer madness on a boat sailing at sea, is enough to make for any ardent metalhead’s ideal dream. And what’s more, last year’s barge had three guests that made everyone else on the cruise ask them twice where they were from.

The first thing you’re probably thinking is that it must be an awful boat, right? Wrong. That’s what I asked my buddies Dulip and Milinda while we were having our last drinks before they departed the island.

Barge to Hell is a chartered cruise from one of the best cruise lines in the World (Royal Caribbean). The ship they sailed on was the ‘Majesty of the Seas’ and it was a plush boat featuring amenities (outside the three stages of music) that included a spa, a bunch of 24-hour bars, a 24-hour casino, swimming pool, hot tubs, rock climbing wall, two game arcades, restaurants, a library and a few duty-free shops. All of the food, water and non-carbonated beverages were included free of charge, you just had to pay for liquor and sodas.

As described by Dulip, cruising out of the Port of Miami, the music on Barge to Hell started almost immediately, and this ended up being one of his favourite things about the whole cruise. You could just hop from venue to venue, watching band after band after band until your ear drums explode!

As they left the port they took the first few hours getting acquainted with the ship, finding out where everything was, where all the gigs were going to be and course, where to get the food and drinks. After finding their wares, they headed to the Chorus Line Theatre, which was the largest inside stage.

They were greeted by Exodus who, they say, started the journey off nicely for everyone. I should note that will not be reviewing every single band as I was not there in person and will only be echoing this once-in-a-lifetime experience as described by Dulip, Milinda and Paul.

From there, Soilwork, Enslaved and November’s Doom had been on the cards. Milinda adds that they left Enslaved’s set early to grab some dinner and drinks to prepare for the mighty Behemoth’s first appearance, again at the Chorus Line Theatre. Well, this comes to no surprise but I’ll mention it purely on the grounds of formality. They were awesome!

Dulip said that they stood higher and mightier than any of the other bands he had seen that night and ended up being one of the top three bands of the whole cruise for him personally. He also said that their costumes were the scariest of the cruise and the Behemoth Members remained the most down to earth bunch of guys you’d ever meet.  Also the guys from Moonspell had invited him and Pauly over for an after show gathering on the last night of the cruise!

At the Gates, Napalm Death and Vital Remains had followed throughout the ensuing days with a host of many others including Holy Moses, Paradise Lost, Sepultura and a belly-flop competition judged by some of the guys from Moonspell and Tony Foresta of Municipal Waste that, I was saddened to hear, did not see the participation of our very own Doctor Milinda.

I was told by all three in unison that Napalm Death had to be the highlight of their entire cruise with Sepultura, Krisiun, Rotting Christ and Sodom also putting on insanely tight shows.  Paul was quick to point out that beyond the drunken monstrosities and the massacring riffage taking place on in the Chorus Line Theatre, Spectrum Lounge and Pool Deck, one of the coolest things he’s ever seen was Mitch from Napalm Death and Nick Barker singing along to a Cher and Sonny song. He also said that on the last night of the cruise in the spirit of true platonic brotherly love, everyone ended up at the Karaoke Bar until they were kicked off the ship at 7 a.m.!

Milinda said that his unforgettable Barge moment was when he sat down for beers with the guys from Rotting Christ. Well, that’s what he thought until they wore Skzin Tshirts the next day. Skzin is Milinda’s Tshirts Clothing range. And that was it! After taking in a few other bands and relaxing for most part of the fifth and final day, they arrived back in Miami early next morning and made their way back to the Airport to head back to New York City.

Dulip summed up his Barge to Hell experience by telling me: “We did not just watch bands perform, we hung out with them and drank with them. Where else could you go to the gym with Nergal, have lunch on the table next to the guys from Sodom, randomly bump into other musicians all over the ship who will never forgot you because you are the only three guys from Sri Lanka that they have ever met?” Personally, that just about sums it up for me.

And finally, all those Lions who would like to experience an event of  this magnitude should visit www.70000tons.com for Ultimate Music Cruises Inc’s next event ‘70,000 Tons of Metal’ from 27 to 31 January 2014. Hope to see you there!