Do you know what teachers want from parents? Hint: It’s not apples. Learn the keys to active participation and making the teacher’s job a bit easier.

It takes a village to raise a child. We can’t expect teachers to be the only ones educating our children. Research proves that when Mom and Dad become involved in their kid’s school life, grades, behaviour and emotional well-being improve. So, if you want to make the teacher’s job a little easier, check out these 10 things teachers want from parents.

Read to your child

 “The single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success in reading, is reading aloud to children,” stated the US Department of Education Commission on Reading in 1985. Grab a book, any book, and read to your child at least three times a week. You’ll plant the seeds for a lifetime of reading.

Get to know the teacher

You should be on a first-name basis with your child’s teacher. Ask for the best way to get touch with him or her, such as by phone or email. Be there for open houses and parent-teacher conferences. Don’t be the parent who only shows up when you have a bone to pick.

Encourage friendships outside of school

Classroom learning works best when solid teamwork is in place. Because there isn’t always time for children to get to know one another all that well at school, make sure that your child spends time with classmates outside of school by encouraging playdates and after-school activities.

Get involved with the school

Attend school council meetings. Join the school’s PTA. If you work and these school-oriented meetings are scheduled during the day, ask if meetings can occasionally be held at night. Your voice counts – sometimes, it’s the only voice that will advocate for your child. When parents unite, they can more readily affect changes in schools.

Take part in school events

Don’t miss school events such as talent shows, science fair nights and seasonal potlucks. Even if your child isn’t playing on the team, why not attend a school sporting event? You’ll help foster an appreciation of school life. Not only will you be helping your child be successful in school, but you’ll also be making memories with him along the way.

Bring learning home

There are always learning moments to be made away from the classroom. Bake a cake and teach the basics of measurement. Have your own spelling bee night. Take a weekend trip to an aquarium or museum. Watch an educational, family-friendly movie. Bringing learning into the home is a great way to foster future success.

Value education

Show your child that learning is a lifelong adventure that doesn’t end once school is over. Read a book. Take a class that interests you. Tell your child about the learning experiences you’ve had on the job. Bond over educational books, movies and TV shows.

Don’t be so patient

“Patience is for martyrs,” says Lisa Holewa, co-author of What Kindergarten Teachers Know. When you enable your child’s urges at home, he may not get with the program at school. When you take your child to an appointment, for example, be on time … no matter what cool thing may have caught your kid’s attention. You’ll suffer fewer headaches in the meantime.

Teach your kid to clean up

Are you usually the one putting the toys back on the shelves? If your child doesn’t clean up after himself at home, he’s sure to be messy at school. Have him stow his toys neatly away after playtime. Teach him to make his bed, take out the trash and wash the dishes. When that’s the standard at home, keeping a clean desk at school won’t seem like a big deal.

Do step-by-step teaching at home

When you teach a lesson or begin an activity with your child, pretend you’re teaching a class. Make sure you have his full attention, go step by step and give very clear instructions. “Plan to stand physically near your child, bend down, and get eye contact,” Holewa says. Your little guy will learn to follow directions, and he won’t be the one lagging behind at school.

When you get involved with the school, do some teaching of your own and lead the learning cause by example, you become an invaluable part of your child’s success in and out of school. The teacher will thank you, and one day, your child will too!

Teacher-Parent Communication: Dos and Don’ts

Whether it’s a parent-teacher conference or a quick email, you have plenty of opportunities to talk turkey with your child’s teacher. The problem is that some of that communication – while done with the best of intentions – can confuse and even annoy your child’s teacher. Make sure you know how to talk to a teacher so the conversation is mutually beneficial.

Do: Get to know the teacher

The US Department of Education suggests that you talk to your kid’s teacher early and often. Hey, she’s going to be spending anywhere from three to six hours with your child every day. It helps if you make an effort to get to know her. Learning her techniques and philosophies can help you better understand your child’s education.

Don’t: Get too personal

By all means, find out what your child’s teacher’s favourite sweet treat is – it’ll come in handy when you want to give kudos. Other than that, keep a reasonable distance. You don’t need to know about a teacher’s personal life, so don’t ask. And if the teacher is a member of the opposite sex, absolutely no flirting!

Do: Volunteer to help

Whether you’re helping in the classroom, chaperoning the next field trip, or just keeping the peace in the schoolyard after school, volunteering gives you a chance to chat with the teacher. Teachers often need help, so the next time there’s a call for help, pencil it in and you’ll become a favourite.

Don’t: Blame the teacher

Even if your kid is falling behind or struggling in a specific subject, it’s never okay to blame teacher for the issue. “Your teacher teaches because he or she cares for your child,” says Sarah Greesonbach, a former high school teacher. “Taking a defensive or threatening approach is rarely necessary.” Take responsibility for your own part in the issue and use ‘I’ statements to talk about things without giving teacher the proverbial stink-eye.

Do: Use email and texting to your advantage

Technology has made letters home to parents passé. Nowadays, you have the benefit of sending emails and texts as long as they’re approved forms of communication by the school and the teacher. Teachers are busy, so don’t burden the teacher with a steady stream of notes and long phone calls. Instead, streamline communication to check in with homework, find out about class events or give educators a head’s up about an absence.

Do: Bring up your concerns

You have a right to ask questions and address concerns about your child’s education, but do so at the right times. Jennifer Little, a teacher for 40 years, says her pet peeve is ‘parents who drop in 15 minutes before class starts or at dismissal when there are meetings or duties requiring teacher attendance’. If you need to chat with an educator outside of scheduled conferences, ask to pencil in a meeting. Teachers are super busy and just dropping in could make you ‘that parent’.

Don’t: Compare teachers

Volunteering in your child’s classroom is great – until you whine about how another teacher planned better field trips or approached math in a better way. Comparing teachers is a definite no-no. Your child’s teacher works hard to stay in control of her class, and the last thing she wants to hear is that she’s not measuring up. Keep your opinions to yourself unless a teacher is being abusive or neglectful.

Do: Show your appreciation

Teachers – whether you’re thick as thieves or like oil and water – have a tough, thankless job. When someone is essentially dedicating their lives to teach your child the things he needs to know, a little appreciation goes a long way. Whether it’s an old-school apple, a Starbucks gift card or a simple thank you note, give your child’s teacher props for sticking it out. Not only will it make her day, but it’ll make you her favourite parent.

Keep communication simple

Teachers have a tall order to fill when faced with a classroom of kids whose parents want their child to have as much attention as possible. Make her job a little easier by keeping communication simple and beneficial for both of you. That way, you get to voice your opinion, and she gets to do what she’s best at – teaching your child.