Mentoring mantra for managers

Managers are expected to deliver results. They need to be informed, instructed and inspired in order to ensure consistent performance. In the back drop of rapid economic growth in Sri Lanka, this has become increasingly more significant. Mentoring comes to the forefront with regard to this noble endeavour. Today’s column is a detailed look at mentoring, in identifying it as a mighty mantra for managers.

Overview

Mentoring is an overarching concept covering instructing, coaching and counselling. According to Eric Parsole of the Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring, “Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximise their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be.”

Mentoring is a powerful personal development and empowerment tool. It is an effective way of helping people to progress in their careers and is becoming increasing popular as its potential is realised. It is a partnership between two people (mentor and mentee/protégé) normally working in a similar field or sharing similar experiences. It is a helpful relationship based upon mutual trust and respect.

A mentor is a guide who can help the mentee to find the right direction and who can help them to develop solutions to career issues. Mentors rely upon having had similar experiences to gain an empathy with the mentee and an understanding of their issues. Mentoring provides the mentee with an opportunity to think about career options and progress.

A mentor should help the mentee to believe in herself and boost her confidence. A mentor should ask questions and challenge, while providing guidance and encouragement. Mentoring allows the mentee to explore new ideas in confidence.

It is a chance to look more closely at yourself, your issues, opportunities and what you want in life. Mentoring is about becoming more self aware, taking responsibility for your life and directing your life in the direction you decide, rather than leaving it to chance.

Origins of mentoring

In Greek mythology, Mentor was the son of Alcimus. As www.wikipedia.org tells us, his old age Mentor was a friend of Odysseus who placed Mentor and Odysseus’ foster-brother Eumaeus in charge of his son Telemachus, and of Odysseus’ palace, when Odysseus left for the Trojan War.

When Athena visited Telemachus she took the disguise of Mentor to hide herself from the suitors of Telemachus’ mother Penelope. As Mentor, the goddess encouraged Telemachus to stand up against the suitors and go abroad to find out what happened to his father. When Odysseus returned to Ithaca, Athena appeared briefly in the form of Mentor again at Odysseus’ palace.

Because of Mentor’s relationship with Telemachus, and the disguised Athena’s encouragement and practical plans for dealing personal dilemmas, the personal name Mentor has been adopted in English as a term meaning someone who imparts wisdom to and shares knowledge with a less experienced colleague.

Mentor and protégé

The two terms mentor and mentee go hand in hand. Perhaps a better term for mentee would be protégé. It means ‘protected’ in French. In other words, protégé is a person who is guided and supported by an older and more experienced person.

World history shows us myriad facts on famous mentor-protégé pairs. Merlin is a legendary figure best known as the wizard who was the mentor of King Arthur, a British leader of the late 5th and early 6th centuries. Aristotle was the mentor for Alexander, the great conqueror. Kautilya who wrote Arthashastra was the mentor for emperor Ashoka. Krishna and Arjuna from Hindu scripts is another mentor-protégé relationship.

Hanuman and Rama

As www.developmentor.com reveals, Benjamin Graham was the mentor of the world conqueror, Napoleon Bonaparte. Augustin de Robespierre, a relatively unknown person has been the mentor of a world famous protégé, Sir Richard Branson – Founder of Virgin Group. Scott McNealy and Paul Austin were the mentors of Warren Buffett – CEO, Berkshire Hathaway.

Michelle Robinson was having a mentoring relationship with another renowned protégé, Jack Welch, former CEO General Electric. Freddie Laker had a special protégé, who created history, which is none other than Barack Obama.

In Sri Lankan politics, we can see so many mentor-protégé relationships, including popular characters. In the Sri Lankan business community too, success cases of how mentoring resulted in developing managers, are not rare. The issue is the unsatisfactory spread of mentoring across the management circles. Some do it diligently. Some do not do it at all.

The mentoring relationship

Beverley Kaye, the author of the best seller, ‘Up is Not the Only Way,’ tells us about the meaning of mentoring: “Behind every successful person, there is one elementary truth: somewhere, somehow, someone cared about their growth and development. This person was their mentor.”

It is in fact an enriching, enhancing and empowering relationship. The mentor gets, above anything else, a high mental satisfaction in seeing the success of the protégé.

An old Chinese proverb proves this point in a vivid manner.

If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.

If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.

If you want happiness for a month – get married.

If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else.

Despite my reservations on its specific remark on marriage, the final statement makes a lot of sense. Helping someone will make you feel better. Seeing someone succeeding will make you feel better.

The modern mentor

When we look at the modern mentor in the contemporary management circles, three distinct dimensions can be seen. A mentor is a role model, advisor and a teacher. In playing such roles, a mentor helps the processional development, personal growth and the skill advancement of the protégé. His/her learning gets enhanced with the technical guidance from the mentor.

A mentor’s influence on the protégé’s decisions with regard to career path is very high. He/she can be a talent spotter, opportunity identifier and also a path finder. A mentor acts like a guiding light in illuminating the way forward of a protégé.

Mentoring expectations

A mentor should be an attentive and empathic listener. In other words a person who listens with focus and care, in looking at issues from the protégé’s point of view. Critical, constructive and caring feedback is the essential nutrition for budding managers. He/she should be always trustworthy and reliable. The protégé should have no fear in revealing issues or sharing secrets, as the mentor creates an ambiance of trust for a meaningful engagement.

In the process of mentoring, setting realistic goals, assessing the progress, discussing corrective actions and consolidating change also become important steps. Developing and communicating clear objectives of the mentoring process at the beginning will be handy.

Setting the ground rules and developing an agreement with regard to meeting times, venue and other logistics is also important. Both the mentor and the protégé should know their roles clearly and specifically why they are meeting for.

Giving constructive feedback

Feedback can be regarded as breakfast of champions. It helps someone to improve, provided taken positively. As a mentor, mastering a specific way of giving non-threatening feedback is important. The following sequence might be useful as a practical guide.

“When you…” Describe without judgment. Be specific and factual.

“I feel…” Tell how the behaviour affects you.

“Because I…” Say why you are affected that way. Describe the connection between facts and feelings (pause for discussion). Let the other person respond.

“I would like…” Describe the change you want the other person to consider.

“Because…” …and why you think the change will help.

“What do you think?”    Listen to the other’s response. Be prepared to discuss options.

Why some of the feedback sessions end in disputes is simply not following the above logical and realistic sequence.

Role of the protégé

You need both hands to clap. In order to ensure a successful mentoring relationship, there are aspects pertaining to protégé as well. He/she should respect mentor’s commitment with regard to effort and resources. Good mentors are extremely busy as in other cases, as they are in high demand. Respecting that and acting accordingly is important. Keep appointments and coming prepared can be of help in this regard.

It is up to the protégé to display enthusiasm, motivation, and appreciation. Carefully considering mentor’s advice and taking appropriate and timely decisions is what is expected. One key requirement is a positive mindset susceptible to feedback. Seeking clarity is essential in order to have committed action.

Way forward

I have seen many a time that managers do not leave organisations but their bosses. Hitting the numbers will not showcase a success story of an organisation unless it takes care of managerial development. Mentoring becomes a pivotal factor in this sense.

Sri Lankan organisations can do more in developing mentors and promoting mentoring relationships. As Mother Teresa said: “Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” This is what mentoring can do to a person. In doing so, sustainable “humane results” will be ensured.

(Dr. Ajantha Dharmasiri is a learner, teacher, trainer, researcher, writer and a thinker in the areas of Human Resource Management and Organisational Behaviour.  He can be reached on [email protected].)